It's Not a Dream

Lush Life

Lush Life regularly comes through with t shirts for those among us who've seen it all, and I can't thank them enough; you guys wanna bump? Seriously, if I had to sit through another "ha-ha hip hop" shirt I'd probably freak, hard. Extra props to the brand for sticking with the streetwear classics like Champion sweats and coaches jackets while everyone else is overextending themselves into wacky worlds of scarves and distressing. Two spoons up.

  • With Hideout stocking both Jesus and flannel, I don't think we can make too many assumptions on foreign distaste for the states. What are they, a truck stop? Seriously though folks, flannel is mad hard these days, word to Mike Watt.
  • How lame is the F/W BBC line? Wow. Is there at least one design element in there? Could it be more arbitrary? Is Pharrell really this gung-ho about confections? I suppose it is the must have gift for that oh so crucial "13-28 year old 8 year old" demographic though. Jeez, I mean, at least Justin Timberlake had the decency to rip off Marc Jacobs for his outerwear; who's Pharrell ripping off, Cookie Puss? And if he is ripping off Tom Carvel, then isn't that really a Beastie Boys rip off? Word on the street: Fudgie The Wale for S/S '06, folks.

Old school and new school Hiroshi Fujiwara snaps. I prefer the new school, but you can't front on the evolution of the dudes style and the themes that run throughout. No comment on the nature nut wool socks and Tevas era...

  • A funny thing happened on the way to the printers; aNYthing made the best old school NYC shirt you could ask for. If we learned one thing from Recon's "I Miss the Old New York" shirt, it's that talk is cheap; seemed like a lot of people were missing the "Old New York"- you know, '98 and what not, son. Paying homage to the truly old school downtown surplus-meets-graf-meets-the rest fashion establishment of the Unique Clothing Warehouse, aNYthing evokes the oldschool era when the city wasn't so compartmentalized, both fashion and music wise.
  • Everything you wanted to know about Golden Axe, but were afraid to umm... axe.
  • In case you missed it, IQMND ran one of the most thoro online shop reviews- rarely heard of but well worth a look Tokyo shop Tric Trac. True streetwear mentality.


Return to the Jungle

"Ey mate, wots been going on wit dem jungle choons?"

Rough Cut "Killa Beats"

The disembodied MC sample hook has become a bit of a DnB cliche, so it's always nice to hear someone fresh and currently recording in the mix, as opposed to, um, Method Man. Look for Killa Cam on this tune, mixed in with some gnarly bass and pitch-fucked breaks. Somewhat predictable, but whatever- it's not like it's jazz.

Unknown "Jah Promise"

Chronic hasn't came out with anything in proper ages. Their whole thing is super retarded bass, strictly dancefloor business (no '97 space jams shit), and the odd rasta/pot reference. Oh yeah, it's a V Records sub label, so even though this record is by "Unknown" it's probably someone awesome, and I'm sure you've figure it out by now; want some gum? Honestly I never understood how you smoke weed and listen to DnB without having a heart attack, but I'll keep trying- with all this ragga/roots revival business that's been going on I might get the hang of it.

Digital "Retard"

Oh man, I've been sweating Digital's nuts for a minute now. While still staying true to his Metalheadz roots (that just means squiggly dated synth sounds and decent drum edits) Digital manages to come out with a broad range of tracks, from dancefloor riddim type stuff to poppy ragga tracks and even some next level abstract drum editing. This track falls under the dancefloor riddim column and features one of the aforementioned MC samples, this time around it's Rakim. No, I don't only like this song because it's called "Retard".


Crappy Holidays

With the aproaching holiday and a brain frying fever, I'm just going to chill on posting till next week. In the meantime, check out my Branded article in the new Complex (I think it's out, I wouldn't know for sure since I haven't left my place in three days), and check out all my fine links on the right. See you after the break.



Carleton Hall

It's cranberry sauce.

Van Halen "I'll Wait"
Motley Crue "Looks That Kill"
Iron Maiden "22 Acacia Avenue"
Guns N Roses "Back Off Bitch"



Pigeon fuckers- looking for that real Bmore Club shit? make your way down to the wessyde for another Gangbang. Tell -->Scottie B --> I said what's up. This is about as real as it gets without hacking a ride to the show.


Oh, Really?

X Large

If trainspotting shit is the name of the game, then step your fucking game up, slags. If I wanted to sit in front of my joint all day and surf for new shit that would blow your mind and destroy your soul, I totally could; but that would be an exercise in futility, wouldn't it? Who's going to pay a human being to do what you could program a machine or train an ape to... HOLY SHIT is that John C. Reily? What the fuck is John C. Reily doing in X Large Japan ads...

  • 2005 saw the Shemagh scarfs quick rise and subsequent turn into loserville. What started promisingly as an interesting style development in a world at war has now settled nicely in the pantheon of hipster Myspace cliches, right next to the "emo Tony Hawk" and Guido Dragonball Z haircuts. Mad fetid, yo.
  • So if the Shemagh is out... then what's in? Dig up your copy of Black Sunday, cuz it's Baja time, fuckers!

Lowrider Cuties couldn't suck less... or more? JK. No homo? O RLY? Pun Intended? Obviously I'm confused... sarcasm rules. In a world where Sucking is the prime operative, things get a bit heady, don't they?

  • Peter Metro Dedicated to You.


Shorty Tearin It Up

Is K Swift Baltimore Club’s Richie Hawtin? On Unruly’s Club Queen Jumpoff 3, also second wave dance jockey Swift flexes her taste for four beats or less loops and energized high end rhythms offset with a wicked bass kick. While you probably wont find Swift tweaking the fuck out of the treble at club gigs like Hawtin, both djs have a taste for the tribal textural minimal loop (although Hawtin’s probably playing less Bernie Mack samples...). Jumpoff 3 features K Swift's hyper-loopy personal brand of Club, book ended by chant jams Johnny Blaze’s “Peanut Butter Jelly Time” and Blaqstarr’s “Hey Motherfuckers” with these type of hyper-terse tracks, randy remixes (KW Griff’s “Star Wars” and the Chris Rock sampling now K Swift staple “Never Leave The Club”) and more proper “song” songs (“Dance My Pain Away” by Rod Lee) all in the mix over 38 tracks of the past 6 months of Bmore Club. Want a copy? Lemme hear an Artie Lang “Wahhh” because this bad boy’s only available at Downtown Locker Room. That’s real Bmore for you; only for the hardcore.

  • When was the last time anyone rocked Chucks/canvas before Mike came on the scene with the canvas strictly butters? For me it was probably the fold down grey/pink Chucks back in '87 ("Pump up the Volume" on 45, what). Anyway, a timely and exceedingly good look from the Jordanians.

  • No Pattern brings the LSD age staple (now somewhat of a lost art) of the trip-out poster into the full digi jacket 00s. Major good vibrations coming from the Vacations print, and it's a welcome alternative to playing with sticks in the forest listening to an iPod Nano. I suppose super glossy Crystal Archive paper was always destined to trump black velvet. Urban escapist psychedelic mind melt.

  • Lemon-Red has the beat connect, with hook ups to power mixes from DJ Eleven and DJ Benzi.

  • If you're not on Myspace at this point, you pretty much don't exist. Not only does it consume just as much, if not more, time than a healthy H habit, it's also an easy way to stay up on what's going on without filling up your inbox. Unfortunately for blog writers, I'd be willing to argue that Myspace cuts deeply into peoples blog reading time... Check out recent additions; aNYthing Records Plastic Little and Joey Semz, Baltimore's numero uno jump off BBC, mayor of Brown Town Platinum Pete, hip-hop dada-ists Siknuss, and if you should find me- leave some animated .gifs, preferably of bouncing boobies.


Connect Bass Ditto

Photos by Carleton Hall

BBC caught their stride with K Swift on the decks and a new and infinitely improved Saturday night slot at The Ottobar . The jump-off of jump offs. Pictures say thousands of words, and if I was more sober at the time I could remember specifically what songs were aired, but since I was way faded I'll take some shots in the dark, and at least try and capture the vibe... Oh yeah, little Johnny Waters was definitely in the house, maybe you're familiar.

Diamond K "Put Your Leg Up"
MC Duke "I'm Riffin'"
Bernard Wright "Funky Beat"
George Kranz "Din Daa Daa"

You know, stuff like that.


Auto Focus

City Paper

My writing game has never been more focused- read my Gentei write up in Bmore City Paper.

  • I don't know why I haven't mentioned this before, but Jesus begats the best t shirts. I'm totally sure that's what God had in mind when he gave his only son; eternal life... and cool tees for the believers. Think about it- if everyone's living forever, then they totally have to have clothes... it's like the neverending demographic. But yo, if Jesus skates, does that make it streetwear?

  • I bet Jesus never had one of these... sucker!!! E luxury is pretty much the place to be for coked up old money post-brunch pre-fuck-sesh shopping sprees. Their best work is how they pick the most un-Jacobs models for the Marc stuff, but then the Dior models are so over the top Slimaine that it makes you want to puke heroin.

Carleton Hall
Bmore Rat Race was a smashing success, as in everyone rode the shit out of Baltimore and got way wasted on homemade sparks and Pabst afterwards with Blood Baby and Dan Deacon. Carleton comes correct with flicks.

  • While people like myself are squawking about the arrival of mile-a-minute disposable diaper fashion blogs, they're are some people who are actually doing a service to the streetwear/fashion scene, namely Refinery 29. Details, actual information, proofread copy and smart design all make very welcome appearances, and I think the world is a better place for it... Well, for that and Jesus on a skateboard. Watch Refinery drop science on Kangol/Alife's new superfedora.

BBC party Saturday @ The Ottobar, featuring Club Queen K-Swift, and hopefully a healthy amount of boppers. Dollar drinks till 11, WHAT!!! I'll be in the house leaning.


Mean Street

David Lee Roth's never been one for lyrical figuratism (um, "jump, just go ahead and jump," sound familiar?), but if there's ever been a streetwear anthem "Mean Street" is it. Titular allusion included, the man like Diamond Dave drops more metaphors than KRS One gone off herbal ess and Sparks. File this under "Lyrical Interpretations" along with Madonna's "Like a Prayer" being about slobbing the knob. Peep game...

Van Halen "Mean Street"

At night I walk this stinkin' street past the crazies on my block
And I see the same old faces and I hear that same old talk

Ok, so Dave's like "fuck a message board, get a dick, son!" on some jaded shit- he's into floral wallpaper prints and Air Force IIIs... so shut the fuck up about De La Soul nostalgia, dude's aren't relevant anymore.

And I'm searching for the latest thing, a break in this routine
I'm talkin' some new kicks, ones like you ain't never seen

This is where it gets good... very trippy. Literally he's probably talking about heroin, but metaphorically Dave's on some next level shit, like KKOK, or something.

This is home, this is Mean Street
This is home, the only one I know

Now Dave's like, "Yo, I'm D4L son. Laffy Taffy, what!" which loosely translate into I'm down and not a clown, on the not-a-sneakerphant tip.

An' we don't worry 'bout tomorrow 'cause we're sick of these four walls
Now what you think is nothin' might be somethin' after all
Now you know this ain't no through street, the end is dead ahead

Streetwear as we know it will die soon, so says Dave- I co-sign; it will die and be replaced by something trill. Shit, it already has...

The poor folks play for keeps down here, they're the living dead

The living dead are sycophants, who are poor since they blow all their loot on shit; if they were alive (down) they'd be getting that shit for free. Or they'd be racking it, which is straight too...

Come on down, down to Mean Street
They're dancin' now, look! Out on Mean Street
Dance baby!

Word, you fuckers should dance. See Fucking Shit Up.

(Guitar Solo)

Rap sucks; no solos.

It's always here and now my friend, it ain't once upon a time

Dave's not 'bout any nostalgia.

It's all over but the shouting, I come to take what's mine
We're searchin' for the latest thing, a break in this routine
Talkin' some new kicks, ones like you ain't never seen

No not P-Rods- sorry penis wrinkle.

This is home, this is Mean Street
Yes-ah home, only one I know

Ok this following part is where Roth does one of those parts where he talks to you with his ass hanging out...

See, a gun is real easy
in this desperate part of town
Turns you from hunted into hunter
You go an' hunt somebody down

What up Jorg! See, Dave knows what's up...

Wait a minute, ah Somebody said "Fair warning", Lord
Lord, strike that poor boy down!

Roth's saying fuck poseurs, with a little help from from Big J Dog.


Bust My Guns

Ride or die.

  • Know1edge's denim runs the gamut from questionable discount urban to way acceptable accented spartan. Watch the sycophants ape this one and be like...
"Knogledge is one of the most hypes denim brands with selvage, get a look at them releasing immediatley!!! They do nots dissapoint. I cannot say more!"
  • Looks like the "Trap" in "Trap or Die" wasn't working out for The Snowman. As much as I like overt allusions to cocaine (check my Myspace), Jeezy just doesn't do it for me; he's just a breaded and fried version of The Lox. Irak are top shottas for that one.